2021… New Year, new outlook…new hope.
Looking back…
If there was one thing that 2020 taught me is that I had to start shooting things that mattered to me. Things and subjects that I wanted to shoot…not that I needed to photograph.
I feel strongly that seeking your own path is the most important component to being creative. The lone trail that you and you only travel gathering new snippets of creative energy as you go.
2020 caused me to take a very intense look at whether or not I still wanted to own a camera never mind attempt to carve out a living using it. I had so much peripheral noise in my life…early retirement, planning the move east complicated of course by the ever annoying pandemic, that photography seemed all but a distant dream.
A couple things happened that help keep me on the rails. As I knew I was retiring in April, the drilling project I was working on as a farewell tour allowed me access to a part of me that I had all but buried. My career. I started documenting the final months of the project and quickly compiled a very detailed body of work I have grown to be quite satisfied with. It wasn’t as creative as I wanted my photography to be but it kept me engaged.
The second was a short but important conversation I had with a close friend and fellow photographer. He reassured me that my photography was worth continuing and not to give up. Eric was the reason I discovered photography in the first place as he convinced me to become a High School year book photographer capturing candid images of our senior year in a Montreal High School in 1973. Eric and I didn’t see much of each other after we left Montreal but have always kept in touch and he has been a large supporter of my work. I trust his opinion…no sugar coating just honesty that can only come from a good friend.
So I completed the docu-series for the company I was working for, and quietly left the industry that had paid the rent for 42 years. No tearful goodbyes, no parties…the company just closed up due to COVID and I became a hostage to the first lockdown. The last 13 days of my career were spent sitting on my front steps watching the world go by. There was a Zoom meeting that was held so folks could say a few words but it just wasn’t the same.
So next up was the move to Halifax. In the middle of the pandemic. Needless to say that despite having to drive in a small RV across the country with my wife and her prize asthmatic and diabetic cat we made it to our new home in Halifax only to have wait in isolation for our furniture to show up some ten days later. As soon as we emerged from our quarantine time I began to walk as often as I could. The walking started in Calgary before we left but only manifested itself as true therapy after our arrival in Halifax. My camera became a regular companion at that point and the newness of the city and it’s amazing pathways and trails offered up what seems like endless compositions.
It was on one of those walks that I came to the realization that I had to give myself permission to shoot for myself selfishly. I had read blog after blog and watched/listened to countless pod casts from other photographers speaking to their own journeys and how they embraced their own visions but only after coming to terms to shoot for themselves and not for what IG or FB said they should be doing. I had finally seen that light…
I can remember the exact moment the clarity hit me. It was early morning and I had snuck out hoping to create some image associated with the amazing sunrise that day. I found a new path that lead to a new lake, absolutely no wind, perfect reflections and the most amazing sense of peace overcame me. The images I created that morning will be some of the most satisfying images I have ever taken. There were no restrictions on my time, no phone ringing every 5 minutes with problems to solve and most importantly a very distinct lack of stress. That pressure in my chest that had been there for nearly 18 months…was gone. I couldn’t stop smiling and luckily I don’t think anyone else witnessed my embarrassing moment of self joy.
The moment I started over….
Since that day my camera and I have been together almost every day. To pay the bills I need to use my enjoyment of Family Photography and headshots to get by but it has benefited greatly from my sense of peace of shooting freely again. The weight of chasing “likes” and “favs” had all but disappeared.
Having a true identity as a photographer has ruined many talented shooters. The endless argument of having to classified as photographer of some set genre was resolved for me that July morning. When asked what I shoot now my response is simply…”I’m a generalist…I’ll shoot just about anything now.”
I love shooting simple things other people don’t see in everyday life. It’s been the underlying consistent theme since I first owned a camera. Be it film or digital I have always thrived by simply walking with my camera trying with all my being to translate what I see with my eyes into an image that my camera captures and allows me to create a pleasing photograph to no one else but me.
August brought me to yet another creative portrait workshop hosted by the amazing Dave Brosha. I arrived at the workshop fresh with creative ideas and intent. I have culled my portrait talents from emulating the works of Wayne Simpson, Joel Grimes and Dave himself. The workshop was a complete success for me….I created images that I was proud of for no other reason than they came as a result of ideas I had before I arrived at the workshop and with some intent…executed on the vision.
As fall rolled by, my Family Sessions dominated my shoot time but as opposed to past years I never lost the desire to shoot for myself. Walking helped bridge the gap once again and I even managed to squeeze in a couple of personal sessions to keep the juices flowing. Photography was fun again.
Another milestone for me this past year came when had a brief conversation with a young man in a park after I was finished a session with another great family. When asked if I was a “real” photographer. I responded with confidence….yes…I am a real photographer. We chatted…and he hired me on the spot to do a session with his own family. I have trouble telling people I am a professional photographer but it is getting easier and it slides of my tongue without caveats now.
One highlight this summer was the shear pleasure I derived from offering families that were struggling…complimentary sessions. I asked for people to nominate families that were worthy in their eyes for a session they might not be able to afford. The response was overwhelming and I had to limit the sessions to 5…which meant I was able to meet 5 amazing families that were and absolute joy to work with!
COVID resulted in more of my clients cancelling sessions than clients that showed up but the ones that did were fabulous. By November new restrictions all but made it impossible to shoot in studio but it only acted as an incentive to chase my personal work. I spend a great deal of time in the dark chasing a new project of long exposures and light trails. Walking still creates new translations and my eye feels sharper now…more willing to try new things…cross more boundaries and share more of my work.
2021 stands to start out as badly as 2020 ended but there is hope. My plan to push my business to new levels will continue. Vaccines and raw determination should bring the sessions back and my walks will only get longer and more productive.
Happy New Year everyone…lets do this together!
